Vegas Training

The innocent children....or are they???.
BTW: That is root beer all over my Oldest's shirt

A while back I wrote this post on the Chuck E. Cheese mystery wine, which, just so you know, they still serve.  I have not been back to this forsaken place until yesterday when a friend and I decided to take the kids after their last day of school.  A large small sacrifice to make for our excited little ones.  

As we were getting settled into our table and the kids began running around like maniacs, it all suddenly became clear.  This is where it starts.  What is "it" you ask?  Vegas training.  Don't believe me?  Let me lay it out for you nice and simple.

Vegas - Every adult arrives with excitement, enthusiasm and hope.

Chuck E. Cheese - Every child arrives with excitement, enthusiasm and hope.

Vegas - Adults walk around with buckets of coins ready for any machine waiting.

Chuck E. Cheese - Children walk around with buckets of tokens ready for any machine waiting.

Large bucket of tokens or coins???  Hard to tell right?

Vegas - Cocktail waitresses walk around and people smile at them.

Chuck E. Cheese - A large mouse walks around and people smile at him.

Vegas - The amount you planned on spending is never enough.  You ALWAYS pull out more money.

Chuck E. Cheese - The amount the parents planned on spending is never enough.  They ALWAYS pull out more money.

Vegas - There are games everywhere that have a ton of lights and make a lot of noise.

Chuck E. Cheese - There are games everywhere that have a ton of lights and make a lot of noise.

Don't tell me this does not look like a slot machine

Vegas - Adults run around seemingly drugged on alcohol, gambling, and no food.

Chuck E. Cheese - Children run around seemingly drugged on soda, game playing and crappy pizza.

Vegas - After numerous hours adults start to walk around with their mouths hanging open, unable to comprehend where they are.

Chuck E. Cheese - After numerous hours children start to walk around with their mouths hanging open, unable to comprehend where they are.

Vegas - Adults spend hundreds of dollars trying to win their money back.

Chuck E. Cheese - Children spend hundreds of dollars trying to get enough tickets for a gum ball machine that would have cost $5.

Vegas - Adults walk out of a casino blurry eyed, dirty, tired, less money than they went in, hop in a car and have someone else drive them to their hotel, thinking about what a great night they had and when they can go back.

Chuck E. Cheese - Children walk out of the place blurry eyed, dirty, tired, their parents have less money, hop in a car and have their parent drive them home, thinking about what a great time they had and when they can go back.

There you have it!  It is apparent that my now second grader is currently training for his first trip to Sin City and I was completely oblivious, until now.  I am on to you Chuck.  

Chuck E. Cheese Mystery Wine

Did you know that Chuck E. Cheese has beer and wine?  Perhaps you did but this is something I recently figured out in the last year.  They obviously realized that this is the last place parents want to go with their children and bribe us by offering to ease the pain through alcohol.  Genius idea Chuck.  Genius.

A birthday party there this past Friday night led some friends and I to walk in, give our child to the party and head to the "bar".  Your first question might be why we ever committed to going to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese on a Friday night and honestly, I have no good reason except for the fact that perhaps we were drinking when we made that decision too.  But back to the wine.  Upon receiving our glass, an entire discussion began regarding what we were actually drinking.  Here are some things we knew for sure...

1. They are generous - your small plastic cup will be filled to the brim.  Be careful walking back!  You don't want to waste it!

2. There is one red option and one white option

3. It is served cold, regardless of the color you select

4. It comes from a tap

There is where all knowledge stops and the questioning begins...

1. Why is the red wine cold?

2. Why is it served from a tap?

3. What is behind the tap?  A super-sized box?  A keg?  The largest bottle of cold red wine you have ever seen with a tube connected to the tap?

4. Why does it taste better with the pizza?  Do they pair it?

5. What am I actually drinking?

6. Why I am drinking this?  It is terrible!

The questioning could go on and on but the reality of it is, we are at Chuck E. Cheese and it really does not matter what it is or how bad it is.  As long as it medicates the fact that we are sitting in a children's mad house with a mouse running around, I will continue to consume with pleasure.

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