Saturday, August 13, 2011

A Heel Broke

Yup!  A heel broke and I ended up in therapy.  No, not physical therapy (though I am actually going there too thanks to the back issue.)  No, this is your "honest to goodness, sit across from a person and let it all out" therapy.  What happened you ask?  A couple weeks ago while my husband was in Germany on business, I woke up in the middle of the night with what I can only describe as the scariest moment of my life, also known as a full fledged panic attack.  I had never had one and it scared the hell out of me.  This led to a few days of panic attacks and complete anxiety.  After sitting down with a therapist, I have learned that I am one of many who deal with major anxiety and that I am going to need to learn to work through this.

When I went home and was able to sit back and think about this, I began to realize how NOT shocking this was.  I mean, I am a perfectionist, with three children, a husband that works a lot, a career, who always says yes to things and rarely takes time for my own well being.  Hmmm, sounds like the definition of a mother, doesn't it?  At first I was angry at myself for not noticing the "signs" of being stressed, but after a few days, I began to be happy that it happened.  Why?  Because I needed something to tell me that I am not Superwoman.  I don't have to be perfect.  And no one is expecting me to be, except myself that is.

The pressures we put on ourselves to be perfect as wives, friends and mothers can sometimes backfire and really put our bodies and our minds in a terrible place.  I know it is important to be there for my children and husband, but it is equally important to be there for myself.  They depend on me too much to not make sure that I am okay.

I am writing this post because I know (based on statistics) that AT LEAST a couple of you out there are dealing with this same issue.  And if you are not, there is perhaps something else on your plate (we all have our struggles).  I challenge all of you to remind yourself that Superwoman does not exist.  We are all doing the best we can, and no one is expecting anything more than that.  

5 comments

  1. Hey! Had to post a comment as I totally understand the pressures that successful women of our generation put on ourselves! I always think that it is partly because we were told that we could have it all when we were growing up.
    I had a similar experience, a severe panic attack when I was miles from home working a hectic schedule. Luckily it was before my son arrived and we were trying to conceive at the time so I realised that I had to change or we would never have the child we wanted. I've practiced yoga for years so I had the tools to deal with that rising feeling of anxiety [deep breathing and meditation]. You're very fortunate to have a therapist that can help you, I hope you are able to move forward and let go of the anxiety. I've had some wonderful yoga teachers that helped me through the bad periods. I also learnt that I can't have it all - so after working for 10 years in London, I'm now a full time Mum in the North of England - I'm sure one day I'll return to work but for now I'm focusing my energy on my son. I admire you for having 3 kids - I find 1 is really demanding! Thanks for being honest, I think all Mums should be more honest with each other.

    Amy @ http://karmaandcupcakes.blogspot.com/

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  2. Great post! I was writing something similar but haven't had the chance to finish. Hope you are taking some time for yourself. I know exactly what you mean and I'm sure a panic attack will be in my near future! Have a good weekend!
    {mommy chic} design. style. kids. life.

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  3. Love this honest post. Such a great reminder! xoxo

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  4. I love this post too. I haven't gotten to the panic attack stage yet, but I feel the same kind of pressure and anxiety quite often. It always helps to hear that I'm not alone ;) Thanks!

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