Thursday, April 21, 2011

Pour Some Sugar On It

Sugar Coating.  One of the expectations of Mommyhood.  It is almost as if the first line in the handbook when you have your first child is "From this point on, you are only to speak about the good times.  Do not mention to others the part of this job that sucks".  I would like to think that I am honest about the ups and downs of being a mother but when I think back, I sugar coat a ton.  It is just what we do.  And why?  It helps no one.  If anything, it sets new moms up for when they have their first child, see how hard it is for them, assume they are the only ones feeling this way, and therefore they must be a terrible mom. 

The reality is, Mommyhood is rough.  Take getting pregnant.  Yes, you have a beautiful baby.  But that baby comes with 9 months of not being yourself.  Even with my easy pregnancies, I did not love being pregnant.  Anyone who says they love walking around with an extra 25-35 lbs, swollen limbs, and unrecognizable pains is lying.  Then the baby comes and you spend that first week wearing pads, rubbing your nipples with cream, sleeping in 1-2 hour increments, and feeding a baby that just seems to always be hungry.  And this is when the baby is easy.  I am not even going to go into the strength a mommy needs for a colicky baby.  Your first three months are a blur, you are a walking zombie and right when you feel like you are getting a handle on it, your hair starts falling out and your hips just don't seem to want to move back.  But what is the response when someone asks this mother how mommyhood is?  "Amazing!  I love it!  They are such a good baby".  I have yet to hear the response, "It is hard.  I am tired, my boobs hurt and even though I absolutely adore this child, there are days I just want to run away".

You are now all probably thinking I am a terrible mother.  I don't think that I am, but there are definitely days when I think having no children would be much easier than having three.  But then they say "I love you mommy" and all the frustrations seem to melt away and life feels pretty easy again.  That being said, I still think it is not fair to other moms when we are not honest with ourselves and don't share our trials and tribulations with parenting.  There is no award out there for Super Moms, we are all just trying to do the best we can.


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