Similac, I Bid You Farewell

Dear Similac,

It is time to say goodbye.  For 6 years and three children, you have ripped me off and made them strong.  I appreciate you taking the place of breastfeeding, as we both remember, I was not a fan.  I do not appreciate, however, the smell that you left behind on my favorite shirts or the stains you left behind on some of my favorite baby outfits.  I must say that you did teach me that even though a liquid may be white, an item could be washed and years later still potentially turn yellow. 

Thank you for all the memories, specifically of the bugs that you so generously placed in my daughter's formula last October.  I promise that it was not a big deal to throw perfectly good formula away, send back a huge box of already purchased formula and spend a crap load of money on the pre-made formula until you could get your sh#t together.  I especially appreciated whatever substance you put in the bottle that made my daughter prefer you so that when I did try to change formula, it was not possible. 

Now that my hubby says we are at the end of having children, I bid you farewell as I will no longer waste spend money on you.  I am excited for this raise that we have now received and hope to potentially keep it this way.

Sincerely,
Sarah  

P.S. There is a small chance my hubby could be wrong so if that is the case, and I need to purchase you one last time, please do not hold any of this against me.