The Part I Hate

There is really only one part of parenting I hate.  Sure I am not super fond of the lack of sleep.  And yes, the kids can really drive me crazy at times.  But I don't hate those moments.  No, there is really only one moment that I hate and it is when my child is in pain and there is nothing I can do.  


Wednesday night at 11:30pm our Oldest woke up with terrible stomach pains.  This was the second night in a row and though we dismissed the first night as potential gas pains, this time, it concerned us.  After a call to our pediatrician and a quick change of clothes, him and I were off to the ER.  The immediate concern was appendicitis and this led into X-rays, ultrasounds and blood work.  The look of fear and concern on his face was unbearable.  Though I sat there being extremely positive to him, on the inside, I was a mess.  This was my baby, he was in pain, he was scared, and there was nothing I could do.


This is the part I hate.  I hate feeling helpless.  I hate feeling uncertain.  And I hate that he depends on me for comfort and I cannot give it to him.


We arrived home at 4:45am to gain 2 hours of sleep and return back to the ER at 10:30am the next morning due to additional symptoms.  The doctors are not exactly sure what it is at this point but they say that there is a high probability that it is not appendicitis but an intestinal virus.  We have to closely watch him and return if any additional systems occur, but for now, I am staying positive.  Still, I hate this and quite honestly, just want it all to go away.  I want him to feel better and I want to stop being concerned.


I am sure many of you can relate to this feeling and I am also sure that there are many parents that have been in far worse situations than this.  I am not pitying myself for a child who is sick, just acknowledging that I have an extremely hard time dealing with it.


On a lighter note, I want to thank E and S for taking my two little ones all day so that I could be at the hospital.  You do not know how much this truly means to me.  Plus, they cannot stop telling me how much fun they had with their boyfriend and girlfriend.  It makes me feel so much better that they had a great time and were not affected by mommy being gone all day.  Plus, I love getting the photos.  THANK YOU.